away at war..." (2 Samuel 11:1). NIV
diction draws on the breadth of scientific literature
understanding into the nature of the struggle so that
counselors and ministers can be even more effective in
journeying alongside those in need of help. This model
recognizes that sexual struggle begins with isolation.
This source of entrapment is nothing new. When King
David ruled over Judah he reached new heights of ac-
claim, and was lauded for leading many military victo-
ries. When the time came to battle the Ammonites,
David "sent Joab and the Israelite army to fight the Am-
monites... However, David stayed behind in Jerusalem.
the city, he noticed a woman of unusual beauty taking
a bath. He sent someone to find out who she was, and he
was told, `She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and
the wife of Uriah the Hittite.' Then David sent messen-
gers to get her; and when she came to the palace, he
slept with her" (2 Samuel 11:2-4).
He fills his legitimate need for connection with an illegit-
imate solution.
when one becomes consciously aware again of the emo-
tional state that was medicated or numbed with sex.
This initiates remorse and regret, common byproducts
of sexual acting out; the greater one's sense of shame
and despair in this process, the more likely that person
will act out in the same way in the future. Adam and
Eve's experience in the Garden of Eden underscores the
motivation for this behavior. After they disobeyed God's
command not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good
and evil, they "heard the Lord God walking about in the
garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees"
(Genesis 3:8)." We can see from the experience of our
first ancestors that the primary function of shame is to
protect our sense of insufficiency by replacing it with in-
authenticity. In short, shame leads people to build a fa-
�ade to try to appear healthy from a distance, but the
more they let people in, the greater the chance of their
struggle being discovered.
the Apostle expresses this honestly, revealing the pain
he feels by not living authentically: "I don't really under-
stand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do
it. Instead, I do what I hate... And I know that nothing
good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do
what is right, but I can't. I want to do what is good, but I
don't. I don't want to do what is wrong, but I do it any-
way" (Romans 7:15�19).
ity, the addict remains detached from other people to
avoid being exposed, resulting in a return to a state of
isolation that fuels the next addictive cycle.
free a person from this sense of bondage: the Spirit of the
Lord. The most essential aspect of any recovery or heal-
ing process is a deepening sense of God at work in the
life of the individual. Also essential is a commitment to
not only sobriety of thought and behavior, but to filling
the void created by ceasing the sexual behavior with
things like prayer, Scripture reading and worship. Many,
however, attempt to experience transformation in a vac-
uum, persisting in the same sense of isolation that fos-
tered the sexual struggle in the first place.
dictive behavior necessitates that one learns how to form
more healthy patterns in relationships than he or she has
experienced previously. This is where the Body of Christ
becomes critical in overcoming this struggle.
and each one of you is a part of it."
lives is to engage them in community. Recall that is
Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to
be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him"
(Genesis 2:18). We are created with a desire to belong to
something bigger than ourselves. Our desire for belong-
ing is a reflection of our desire to know God and to be
known by Him and to know that we belong to a commu-
nity of grace and compassion. That is exactly what God
calls people to be, in a most literal sense, as we take part
in His new life. "All of you together are Christ's body,
and each of you is a part of it" (1 Corinthians 12:27).